Tuesday, July 31, 2007

THE ERRATIC POSTER POSTS, DETAILS AT 11

Ok, so I'm a pathetic poster. I just haven't had much to say lately, too busy sleeping. This has been one of those summers where I have been motivated by the lack of motivation. It doesn't help when you get up and, after an hour or two, you look around and all the cats are laying around in various contorted positions, snoozing (or snoring, in some cases) away. An hour or so of watching and listening to that and it's like water torture tapping out "nap, nap, nap, nap." I fight it like a woman on drugs (which I am) and finally succumb to an afternoon nap after a strenuous morning of watching cats sleep, surfing the web doing research (yawn), and working on some of my personal projects (nodding off).

Eventually I realize it's 2 o'clock, I haven't eaten lunch, I'm not hungry and I AM going to take a nap. So off I go, detaching my cell phone, my iPod, and my glasses and slithering in between the covers. Slithering is about all I can manage at that point. No jumping into bed. Just slithering. At some point, several of the cats feel somewhat sympathetic with my plight and curl up on the bed with me, and pinion me between the covers. Now, who could get out of that and not stir those sleeping little angels? Little do I know, it's all a part of their plan...

You see where this is going. Nothing better than an afternoon nap with a fuzzy, purring, stuffed toy, that eats, yaks, sleeps, poops and cries. Who needs Mattel? Or, for that matter, kids? Tidy Cat and I are TIGHT! Those folks at LitterMaid are on my Christmas card list. We own stock in NutroMax and Science Diet. My geezer cat and I share a bottle of steroids. My vet goes to Aruba every year, twice. OK, maybe he doesn't, but I am still waiting for my multiple cat discount. People should get a price break at five. And that doesn't count the squatter on the deck. I guess I should quit calling him that. He's been there about five years now, and he has a name and he has made an official visit to the vet for shots. His name is Pekoe (he's an orange marmalade tabby, orange pekoe tea, get it? ok, it's a stretch). He came to us previously neutered, so we didn't have to invest in that procedure. He naps too. It's a conspiracy. They think one day I won't wake up and then they can chew up all my scrapbook paper, the corner of my laptop and chew all my silk flowers. There'll be no stopping them. They'll be drinking my tea (yes, my cats LIKE ice tea), eating my Ritz crackers and sliming my ribbons. It will be chaos and all because of a nap. Its a diabolical plan that I am sure they took all night thinking about. I really need a life. Oh, and an iPhone, if any one has one they want to get rid of. Maybe? Just thought I'd sneak that in there.

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