GIVE THAT WOMAN A DICTIONARY!

After reading my last post, I had to go back and make sure I actually have a college degree. My spelling is atrocious! I is a college gragiate. Please pronounce that word phonetically. See, that's my problem, I'm a victim of phonics. That's what happens when you're a '60's baby. That was the age of "experimentation" which evidently included the brains of small children trying to learn to read and spell. I still count on my fingers! I'm waiting for the 1-800-Sue-Meee lawyers to advertise for a class-action suit against school systems who taught phonics. I mean, really, when you are 8 years old and see the word "fatigue" AND you were taught to "sound it out" then it's no wonder we all gave up on books and started writing video games. Fah-ti-goo (that IS glue with no L). How were we supposed to know it was a French word? Last I checked I don't live in Canada! I think I was in college before I discovered it was pronounced Fa-teeg. OK, I'm going to disclaimer at this point. I am typing with a handicap (in addition to my mental issues) since I have the bird finger wrapped in Co-band (I REALLY don't know how that is spelled, but it's that stretchy stuff that sticks to itself, for those of us allergic to adhesive). Have you ever tried to wrap your finger with one hand? It's HARD! Evidently hitting the right keys is harder.

Now, I want you all to know that a miracle happened to me today. No, it doesn't take much to qualify as a miracle in my eyes... Today, my DH VOLUNTARILY walked into Hobby Lobby with me! Can you believe that? AND he actually wanted to buy something!!! I about passed out and died right in the middle of the garden statues. Sadly, if I had, no one would have known for a week or two. Cliff would have rolled me right onto the lowest shelf and whistled right out the door smiling at the thought of liquidating my craft room and selling all my hardware/software. I think the rest of the girls at HL about passed out too. They thought my DH was a myth, like Sasquatch (no smirking if I spelled that one wrong--spell check didn't know it either). I think ulterior motives were in play. This IS March Madness time, final four college basketball. He was sucking up to me so I wouldn't complain all the way through a full day of basketball.

I was the beneficiary of some really cool gifts for my birthday this year. My friend Candy made me the cutest mini lunch tin with note cards and a Sakura (don't even think about it) Stardust pen. PLUS, all my favorite candy and a handmade card. My life is complete! What could be better than that?! Well, I'm here to tell you that not only did I get ONE handmade card, I got TWO!! I'm on a roll! My friend Lori made me a cute card and gave me the Garden color set of Ciao Copic markers! OMGoodness, I had to run for the Depends! When you get over 40, jumping up and down is NOT a good idea unless you are on fire and need a quick way to put it out. [Smirk] Yeah, you ladies know EXACTLY what I mean. We go from diapers to Maxipads and then back to diapers with grown up names like Depends. Huggies just doesn't sound right if you're over 5. Add that zero after that number, and it's a whole new ballgame! Some ad exec made a killing when he suggested that someone re-brand diapers as "adult peace-of-mind" wearables. Probably the same idiot who suggested they put "Have a Happy Period" on feminine products. Dude! Give that beer back to the girl at the bar! You don't deserve it.

So, after I put my walker and defibrillator away when I got home from Hobby Lobby and changed my diaper, er, Adult Peace of Mind disposable, I promptly kept my appointment with the librarian, then worked feverishly on a logo spot to go on the SCS anniversary newsletter. After that was the loonngg walk into the living room to watch my cat watch basketball and my DH sleep through it. I don't think things are going well in his bracket. Normally, we would have at least three sets of broken TV remotes by now. The living room was a big snooze, so I came back here to the home office (aka, Master Bedroom) and took up surfing again. What an eventful day! Any more excitement like that and I am liable to have a heart attack. Or cough up a hairball, whichever comes first. For my parting nightime thought, sound out critique...