Monday, May 15, 2006

Flying Face Plants

No, it's not a new genus of flora, it's my new impromtu acrobatic act. My partners—a HP Color LaserJet 4500 and the DH. The DH and I were performing our balancing act with the printer as we were attempting to nimbly prance down our brick stairs from our porch. Well, let us say that somewhere our act got out-of-balance and I flew through the air like a bird in flight (possibly a pigeon) and proceeded to firmly plant my right jaw into the concrete of our driveway, closely followed by my right shoulder. Somewhere along the line my right knee clocked either a stair or the printer. I'm sure I was a vision of grace and beauty as I slid across the concrete and laid there like a gutted fish. Do fish see stars? This one did. My DH just stood there and looked at me like, "Hey stupid, what do you think you're doing down there? Get off your butt and help me get this thing in the truck!" He did finally ask me if I wanted help up but I was still doing the fish mouth "what just happened?" impersonation. I finally rolled up to a sitting position and let him help me up. We picked up the #$*&@! printer and put it in the truck. No more printer dances for me. They're brutal. Our neighbors will be reporting spouse abuse when they see me with my chin shiner. And for those of you looking for the Timex of printers? Buy an old HP 4500. They take a licking and keep on clicking out those color pages. What REALLY sucked was having to cancel my class at Creations. We were doing this nifty explosion friends box. I was afraid that if I had sharp tools I might go wild and cut up the place while trying to get up and get a drink from the fridge. They should thank me for not showing up. I'm a loose canon.

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